Sunday, May 29, 2011

Summer Argument

Breathless afternoon:
Clouds thicken,
Static ignites.
Then, a thunderclap of
Careless words.
A flash flood
Scrapes out gullies
And tears up roots
Where self once stood.
All quiet now as the
Sun peeks out.
We step over debris
To survey the damage.


© Judith C Evans 2011

[Written for Jingle Poetry's Poetry Potluck -- this week's prompt: Thunderstorms, floods and water fury and submitted to Short Story Slam image prompt at Bluebell Books]

29 comments:

Butterflies of time said...

Loved yours. How it builds up to the outburst and then the damage assessment-so true in real life.

booguloo said...

It's nice when you can see the emotion and compare it to a natural event. Painters envy the 3D of what good poetry paints.

Dave King said...

A very powerful image. Strong writing.

Mary said...

Thunderstorms with words can sometimes be as damaging as thunderstorms in nature. Your poem makes this point well.

dsnake1 said...

well described! and i think the title is just perfect. :)

Lyn said...

Love the way you integrate the personal and nature..lovely!

liv2write2day said...

You create the experience so well. When I lived in tornado country the warning system was almost unecessary. You can just feel it coming. I like the multiple layers of meaning.

Judith C Evans said...

Thanks so much for reading my poem, friends. I do tend to see parallels between nature and emotions. I appreciate every comment!

laurie kolp said...

Beautiful piece... I really like "a thunderclap of Careless words"

mindlovemisery said...

Every word is beautiful. You really captured the volatility and sadness

Old Raven said...

Laurie ... this is just so good. I guess I tend to really like the poems of others who are writing a bit as I am writing "in the moment," which happens to be with fairly short phrases.

Jingle said...

hopeful ending,
time to collect what's left and move on.

Cheers, love your entry.

Judith C Evans said...

Thanks, Laurie, Old Raven and Jingle. I've been learning about writing "small stones", which usually contain very few words. The technique seems to carry into all my writing.

Margie said...

This is lovely!

Andy said...

Excellent portrayal of the fury of words.

Well done, Judith!

Congratulations on your recent awards!

WyomingDiva said...

Nice melding of weather and relationship!

pure2core said...

That was a excellent usage of words there....very nice one....

lunawitch15 said...

Nice. very nice! very expressive

Cecilia Marie Pulliam said...

So true. Artfully, beautifully written.

poetryoftheasian said...

Nice poem! I like the images it invokes.

catieeliza said...

i love your style.. you communicate a vast torrent in each drop... Da Iawn!! (that is Welsh for VERY GOOD) xx

abthomas said...

I loved the flow of the write!

Jingle said...

love it,
Thanks for linking.

Bryce Daniels said...

"A thunderclap of careless words..."

Well, it's been said before, so I hope you don't mind hearing..errr..reading it again.

I LOVED this. Consider me a follower.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Well done, and packs a punch.

annell said...

I loved reading about you at Poets United, and I loved the piece above!

Judith C Evans said...

Thank you Sherry and annell!

Marian said...

oh careless words! so devastating they can be.
very, very nice. congrats on blog of the week!

Judith C Evans said...

Thanks, Marian! Glad you stopped by :)