Clouds thicken,
Static ignites.
Then, a thunderclap of
Careless words.
A flash flood
Scrapes out gullies
And tears up roots
Where self once stood.
All quiet now as the
Sun peeks out.
We step over debris
To survey the damage.
© Judith C Evans 2011
[Written for Jingle Poetry's Poetry Potluck -- this week's prompt: Thunderstorms, floods and water fury and submitted to Short Story Slam image prompt at Bluebell Books]
29 comments:
Loved yours. How it builds up to the outburst and then the damage assessment-so true in real life.
It's nice when you can see the emotion and compare it to a natural event. Painters envy the 3D of what good poetry paints.
A very powerful image. Strong writing.
Thunderstorms with words can sometimes be as damaging as thunderstorms in nature. Your poem makes this point well.
well described! and i think the title is just perfect. :)
Love the way you integrate the personal and nature..lovely!
You create the experience so well. When I lived in tornado country the warning system was almost unecessary. You can just feel it coming. I like the multiple layers of meaning.
Thanks so much for reading my poem, friends. I do tend to see parallels between nature and emotions. I appreciate every comment!
Beautiful piece... I really like "a thunderclap of Careless words"
Every word is beautiful. You really captured the volatility and sadness
Laurie ... this is just so good. I guess I tend to really like the poems of others who are writing a bit as I am writing "in the moment," which happens to be with fairly short phrases.
hopeful ending,
time to collect what's left and move on.
Cheers, love your entry.
Thanks, Laurie, Old Raven and Jingle. I've been learning about writing "small stones", which usually contain very few words. The technique seems to carry into all my writing.
This is lovely!
Excellent portrayal of the fury of words.
Well done, Judith!
Congratulations on your recent awards!
Nice melding of weather and relationship!
That was a excellent usage of words there....very nice one....
Nice. very nice! very expressive
So true. Artfully, beautifully written.
Nice poem! I like the images it invokes.
i love your style.. you communicate a vast torrent in each drop... Da Iawn!! (that is Welsh for VERY GOOD) xx
I loved the flow of the write!
love it,
Thanks for linking.
"A thunderclap of careless words..."
Well, it's been said before, so I hope you don't mind hearing..errr..reading it again.
I LOVED this. Consider me a follower.
Well done, and packs a punch.
I loved reading about you at Poets United, and I loved the piece above!
Thank you Sherry and annell!
oh careless words! so devastating they can be.
very, very nice. congrats on blog of the week!
Thanks, Marian! Glad you stopped by :)
Post a Comment